Why God Would Never Receive Tenure

1. He only had one publication, with no references and it was not published in a refereed journal.

2. It is doubtful that he wrote it himself.

3. His cooperative efforts have been limited.

4. The scientific community has not been able to replicate his results.

5. He did not receive REB approval for use of human subjects.

6. When his first experiment failed, he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

7. When subjects did not behave as predicted he deleted them from his sample.

8. He rarely went to class, he just told students to read the book.

9. Some say he had his son teach his class for him.

10. His office hours are infrequent and typically held in unreasonable locations (e.g. mountaintop).